Doctors and their Patients (Jokes)

1. A man comes into the ER and yells, ‘My wife’s going to have her baby in the cab!’ I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady’s dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly, I noticed that there were several cabs — and I was in the wrong one.

2. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a ‘massive internal fart.’

3. During a patient’s two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications. ‘Which one?’ I asked.

‘The patch, the nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours, and now I’m running out of places to put it!’

I had him quickly undress, and discovered what I hoped I wouldn’t see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.

4. I was caring for a woman and asked, ‘So, how’s your breakfast this morning?’

‘It’s very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can’t seem to get used to the taste,’ the patient replied.

I then asked to see the jelly, and the woman produced a foil packet labeled ‘KY Jelly.’