TECHNICAL SUPPORT

An actual conversation that occured between a customer and a Word perfect support rep (who got fired for this btw)

Tech Support: "Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"
Customer: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
Tech Support:"What sort of trouble?"
Customer:"Well I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away"
Customer:"Went away?"
Customer:"They disappeared"
Tech Support:"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
Customer:"Nothing"
Customer:"Nothing?"
Customer:"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
Tech Support:"Are you still in WordPerfect or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
Tech Support:"Can you see the C: prompt of the screen?"
Customer:"What's a sea-prompt?"
Tech Support:"Never mind can you move your cursor around the screen?"
Customer:"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type"
Tech Support:"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
Customer:"What's a monitor?"
Tech Support:"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have
a little light that tells you when it's on?"
Customer:"I don't know?"
Tech Support:"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
Customer:"Yes, I think so"
Tech Support:"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
Customer:"Yes it is"
Tech Support:"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
Customer:"No"
Tech Support:"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
Customer:"Okay, here it is"
Tech Support:"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer"
Customer:"I can't reach it"
Customer:"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
Customer:"No"
Tech Support:"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
Customer:"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark"
Customer:"Dark?"
Customer:"Yes the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window"
Tech Support:"Well, turn on the office light then."
Customer:"I can't."
Tech Support:"No? Why not?"
Customer:"Because there's a power failure"
Tech Support:"A power.... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
Customer:"Well, yes I keep them in the closet"
Tech Support:"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you boughtit from."
Customer:"Really? Is it that bad?"
Tech Support:"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Customer:"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
Tech Support:"Tell them you're too f***ing stupid to own a computer"